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Is This Just a Dream?

What is it about you? Every time I find myself admiring or loving another man, you just paved your way into my dreams as if subconsciously, you’re telling me, you own me. Do you?

What is it about you? Every time we met, I don’t have any idea of what’s going on in your mind since, I haven’t sense any ounce of interest when your eyes met mine. Have you?

What is it about you? I don’t even know if we have something in common. The only thing I know is you love to travel, love music and you love to watch movies like I do. Maybe?

What is it about you? In my dreams, you are my best friend and lover but in reality, we don’t even say hi to each other much less be romantic since we’re not friends or together. Can we?

What is it about you? When I go back to read David’s profile, my husband’s character, a reminder, it fits you perfectly to a tee that it became a little bit scary. Are you?

What is it about you? All I know is that I must pray about this since I’ve been dreaming about you for nine years now, is not a coincidence anymore but you are so much more. You knew?

What is it about you? In my dreams, you are the measurement of what a Godly man should be. You are an angel that God sent into my dreams to tell me I shouldn’t lower down my standard of who I should marry. Is it you?

What about you? Do you dream about me? Are we meant to be? Do you pray for me to wait for you? Is it all about me, too? Tell me….Do you?

SUFF’RING

Ah! Suffering! What are you made of?

You who give us tears and pain.

You who made our hearts aflame 

With regret and shame.

Why do you exist in our world?

When all we ever want 

Is a place of acceptance and

Happiness abound.

We care a lot and lost,

We dream high and fall,

We trusted and betrayed,

We did everything and then, nothing…

The weight is weighing us down.

We wonder if this is the end 

And be all of our existence.

Our dreams made more sense than reality.

We woke dreading our lives

Not knowing if we will again survive

Or we just have to end it all, 

To be free, to let go, a choice, a plan

If this is the only thing 

That this world could offer?

Then, are we born only to suffer?

Where is the respite in that!

Then, why do we still need to live?

What made us endure everything!

What does it takes for us to go on and on….

And accept suffering as a gift…..Why? What?

That flicker of hope bind us to move on.

Love made us do things beyond our comfort zone.

Our passion continues to prod us to get up.

And our loved ones shared the burden with us.

It’s an empty life without suffering…

This heavy word taught us to be selfless,

To endure, to persevere, molding our characters,

Creating a person who really live rather than exists.

It is a very important ingredient. 

For a very special, well-prepared dish

That add flavors to our tongue and palate.

To make our world a better place.

When Jesus suffered on the Cross,

It wasn’t demanded nor coerced by His Father

It was His unconditional choice, His obedience

Because He love us His wayward brood.

That suffering of Christ means passion.

He is so passionate about His love for us 

That He endured the beatings and nailing

Just for a frail human being like us.

As for me, I am imitating my Savior.

I am passionate, I am willing to suffer for His sake.

Because I am loved, I am blessed, I am bound for Heaven.

That’s where suffering can’t reach me then I am FREE!

Free at last!

Can You Trust Me, Too?

Child, I Am your God,

Your loving and Almighty Father.
In my mind, I have this question,
Can I have your truest answer.

You can trust your earthly father
since you were a mere child,
until now that you’re a grown-up,
you turned to him to provide.

You can trust your earthly doctor,
to cure your every sickness.
Obeying their way of treatment
not questioning their diagnosis.

You love to trust your earthly lover,
their intimacy you sought with longing.
Your heart longs for their deepest care.
Even though at times, you are hurting.

You can trust your earthly work,
to give you security in your future.
The tiredness, you always overlooked,
forgetting that rest is also necessary.

You can trust things for fun.
New inventions for entertainment,
not knowing it’ll subtly corrupt your mind
that steal the true joy I could give you.

Child, can you trust me, too?
To provide for your every need
To heal your every illness
Because I love you so?

Can you trust me, too?
To comfort your adversities
To offer my way of satisfaction
Because of my love for you?

Can you trust me, too?
To love and care for you
Much more than they can do
Because I love you, so?

Child, can you trust me, too?

Stretching My Faith

The string has been pulled.
The arrow is about to strike.
But still My God didn’t let go.

I am about to break.
My heart is reaching its limit.
When will this pain ebb away?

My God stretched me for weeks.
At times, I am weakened 
by its fullness and agonized.

How long, oh Lord? How long?
Painful questions surmised.
I can’t take it anymore.

The ache kept on throbbing.
It seems like heaven is missing.
I am at lost, wondering, pondering.

Until My God said “be still, my child,
I know what I Am doing.”
Then, I ceased to complain.

He is All-knowing, Omnipotent.
I am a human being and temporary.
I don’t know anything.

My faith has been stretched.
I know it’s painful and confusing
But My God knows I needed it,

to move me more closer to Him.
The best is yet to come,
my God is faithful of His command.

I will emerge more stronger than ever.
My faith is tested and I did not break.
Victory is the emblem of my future.

The Lord is not through with me yet.

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My Only Consolation

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When things are falling apart,
When nothing seems to make sense,
And I find myself wallowing in self-pity,
I bowed down my head and pray.

When my pain is so tangible,
It squeezes my heart so hard,
That I gasped out loud from the hurt,
I knelt on the floor in supplication.

I have nothing left to offer,
Except my emptiness, my nothingness,
I crave once again His touch to lovingly say,
everything’s gonna be alright.

My hope is slipping away, moving afar,
My eyes is filled with tears with ways,
I couldn’t understand nor comprehend.
I was depleted with strength, asking why?

I ceased to be strong, I need Him,
I can’t live without Him by my side,
How could I ever think otherwise,
When His love is the antidote of my strife.

When sometimes life took a big blow on me,
I staggered and fall, so hard to get up,
I look up with eyes full of fear to the One, 
Who knows me more than anyone else.

When I was fighting to live just for a day,
When night is much more pleasant,
To embrace than the light of day,
My God is my consolation, my way.

Every time I cried out in helplessness,
And restlessness to get away from me,
His loving embrace cast all the fears away,
My heart jump to face another day.

Things will continue to let me live,
In a rollercoaster ride again and again,
Days of lows and of highs, it’s sure fire,
But My God will be near to help me survive.

Just Plain Me

I am not a supermodel
nor am I a femme fatale.
My looks is normal
that is unnoticeable
when you pass by.

I’m no genius, sad to say,
my brain is just average
but full of wonder and awe
as I try to live in this world
that’s full of conflict and strife.

My life can’t be written on a page
’cause it’s on a borderline of boring
and if a daring soul will write 
about it, you might fall asleep
as you scan the pages of my life.

I am far from perfect
when I, too, like all humanity
is being driven by my emotions
that seems to make me decide
to do things to be truthful or lie.

It’s so hard to go against the flow
when you are just a nobody,
never heard of or seen
even by those you thought of
as friends or family.

Sometimes, you just have to learn
to be alone, do not expect,
to ease the hurt and hide the tears
since no one knew what’s going on
inside  you, pretending to be whole.

But then, being ordinary is a gift.
When no one sees you that’s when
you see yourself, your woes, your flaws,
that’s when you realize, you are not 
on your own, so many of them is you.

As I look at myself, living simply
as can be, no fame nor fortune
to boast of in this world but still
though hurting and confuse of what
was happening to me, I still chose to live.

Everything around me is telling me
I failed but I chose not to mind
knowing that even though I am 
just a plain Jane in their sight,
I am a beloved in His eyes.

And sometimes in my puny mind,
I almost can’t understand His ways,
I bow my head and stop the why,
deciding to trust even if my heart
is bursting with hurt inside.

Somehow, I love being plain.
An ordinary speck in this universe
but handpicked by a Deity
who knew that an ordinary me
is being used for His glory, simply.

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Jesus love you ❤

Stars On My Ceiling

It’s been a little while now 
since I find myself
looking up, thinking,
it is bright and beautiful.

It was up there.
I’ve been looking at it
day and night but
not seeing it at all.

I bet, it was twinkling
in the night, inviting 
me to notice them
but I haven’t or refuse to.

My attention is
somewhere else.
It’s with the gloom,
that the sparkle passed by.

Then, I looked up
as my head touches my pillow
and I saw them glaring at me,
daring me to ignore them again.

That twinkling stars
that beckons me to hope,
to dream again and to
bask its ease around me.

I felt shame drenched me.
Felt how I miss the spot again.
How I saw the emptiness and
be blinded by my selfishness.

I looked up and saw those stars,
telling me in their winking light
that all I need is to look up
and see that they never left me.

It is up there, flickering
down here, in my heart,
to hope, to dare, to win
in the middle of a storm.

Am I brave enough 
to continue looking up?
Even if what I am seeing
is just an ember of light up above?

In my darken room, 
amid the neon stars pasted 
on my equally dark ceiling,
I saw only their light

And I knew, right there and then,
I am bound to bounce back.
When the sun rise and the
stars rays faded away

Its brightness is embedded 
in my memory, a reminder
that a small ray of hope
can dispel the darkness away.

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Jesus love you ❤