Last Sept. 8, 2017, I just had an operation of my two ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus. I’ve decided to have that operation because it is already depleting me physically, I couldn’t do my work anymore since June and it got worst for the next succeeding months prior to my surgery.
I had bouts of pelvic pain, migraines, low potassium content and hemoglobin in my body, allergies that is getting worst to the point that sometimes I had difficulty in breathing, non-stop bleeding if I don’t take progesterone ( another female hormone that prevents menstruation), nausea, vomiting and constipation, difficulty in urinating, not to mention fevers and chronic fatigue. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis ( a condition in which the layer of tissue that normally covers the inside of the uterus grows outside of it. Most often this is on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and tissue around the uterus and ovaries; however, in rare cases it may also occur in other parts of the body. ) and multiple Myomas ( benign tumors composed partly of muscle tissue. They seldom develop in the cervix, the lower part of the uterus. When they do, they are usually accompanied by myomas in the larger upper part of the uterus.)
In my case, the endometrium is spreading rapidly outside my uterus that it is already adhering to the other organs in my pelvic region, that when my Obstetrics Gynecologist (ObGen) opened me up, she need to rupture my right ovary during surgery because it is almost completely adhered to the other organs in my pelvic area.
You see, I’ve been diagnosed in 2009 with hormonal cyst on my left ovary and it was cured in 2010. In 2012, I had a new growth in my right ovary and for five years I’ve been battling with it praying for miracle for it to disappear like the last time but God had another plan. My hormones were in topsy-turvy because I had more estrogen hormone ( causes menstruation ) and I lack progesterone hormone that causes my reproductive system to go haywire. I am in my middle forties and it shouldn’t have been a problem but the fact is: I am still single and never had any sexual encounter whatsoever. I dedicated my purity to the Lord since I was seventeen years old and this happened.
In 2009, I questioned the Lord of the ovarian cyst. Why it happened to me since I wasn’t promiscuous and so on and so forth. My heart were heavy and full of fears of the big C which is cancer to occur in my body.
When I was diagnosed again with the same case but became more serious from cyst to endometrial hyperplasia ( an endometrial inflammation) as the months and years goes by, I think, I get used to it that I just go with the flow of the treatment and have hoped and prayed for another miracle without undergoing under the knife. Then, things go from serious to severe and the one thing that I am dreading for is now the only cure: surgery.
I got down on my knees before the Lord and check my heart. Am I ready to never have children coming from my womb? Am I ready to be alone for the rest of my life without a husband since having a child is an important part of having a family and I couldn’t have one? Will I regret this decision later on? Will I regret serving the Lord and waited for His chosen husband for me? Will I regret my decision to be pure for Him? Will I blame the Lord for all of this and lose my faith or be angry with him for this circumstances when loneliness and doubts assail my mind? And so many more questions bombarded my heart and I told the Lord everything that is bothering me at that moment and lo and behold, the peace of God which is beyond understanding flooded my heart.
I knew this surgery is His will and I surrendered to it. This is His cure and His miracle. I knew that when I obey, He will give me the grace to accept it and be free.
When I decided to embrace the trial with love and acceptance with peace in my heart, I knew that the grace of God will carry me through the surgery, the after care and the years to come as a single or a married person. And the fears and questions just evaporated as I heartily embraces the will of God for me.
After the surgery, I am joyful with my decision because I felt so free. I am now free to do whatever I want in serving the Lord without the physical encumbrances that I’ve encountered before. I can dance again for Him, travel to places and spread His Word, write and sing for Him and worship Him again with my brothers and sisters in Christ during prayer meetings that I’ve missed for the past six months of this year, not to mention, to get back to my work as healer to God’s people.
My reaction in 2009 is burdensome but my response this year is freedom. A much more appropriate acceptance of the way life sometimes go no matter how difficult it maybe because I am still here on earth not in heaven where true health, pure joy and unconditional love is felt.
I thank God for His miracle. He didn’t only cured my body but He also cured my spirit. Now, after three months after the surgery, I didn’t feel any regrets or entertain any doubts or fears because I know I made the right decision.
And when all these questions will suffice, the Lord surely will give me the grace to surpass it whether He wants me married or single for the rest of my life because God knows what’s best for me. Amen!
*pics by gatewayworship