Kate cringed when she heard the slam of the door and her whole being felt the tremor that enveloped her completely and turned her knees into jelly. Inside, Kate is a frozen ball of pain that hurts to the very marrow of her bone. Then the tears that’s been welled inside her eyes burst out from the dam of her lashes and rushed one by one on her face. She crumpled on the bed and bawled in earnest, cradling her face with her hands while shaking the lumpy bed with her sobs.
After a while, her crying at last began to abate into silent, sobbing breaths that leave her feeling so drained like a drowned kitten. Then she sat up and wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands.
Kate stared through the walls of their room, seeing it for the first time as a prison cell that will swallow her whole and trap her forever. For in this room crystallized the most cherished treasure in her life but this very same room shattered it into pieces with just a snap of a finger….
Joann and Kate met when the latter transferred to the boardinghouse where Joann lived. They became roommates as well as classmates in the University. Until then, they became inseparable even though their personalities differs a lot. Joann is petite, shy and an introvert while Kate is tall, beautiful and outgoing. But despite all these differences, they still had enormous fun together.
Kate has always been the center of attention because of her captivating looks that leave Joann a role of being in the background. Kate’s popularity soared higher when she coveted the crown as “Miss University 2014” and in all the term of her success, Joann was always behind her to boost and supported Kate in her endeavor. Other students especially men coined Kate “The Beauty” while Joann “The Wallflower.” But this criticisms didn’t bother them one bit because of their undying friendship…..until Lloyd entered the picture.
Lloyd is the guy that Joann fell in love with. He’s the Editor-in-Chief of their University quarterly publication, where Joann is also the Literary Editor. They both had a passion for literary works and because of this common ground, they fell in love. From then on, the two some became a trio that started the cooling off of the embers in the hearth of Joann and Kate’s friendship.
Lately, Kate started to act strangely whenever Lloyd is around, so speculations begin to circulate in the air. People begin to wonder if Kate is also in love with Lloyd since she avoided being with them when Lloyd is in the vicinity. She even turned down all her suitors and because of this the rumors continue to flourish. But Joann and even, Lloyd just shrugged it off and regarded it as a silly notion, never questioning Kate’s unusual behavior because of her trust with her best friend.
This afternoon, while Joann is cleaning their room, she saw a torn piece of paper lying on the floor beneath Kate’s study table. She picked it up in order to insert it in Kate’s notebook when something caught her eye and read the content of the paper.
Suddenly, the door opened and Kate strolled in but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Joann’s expression. Kate shifted her gaze to the paper Joann was holding and recognition dawned on her. She suddenly turned pale and raised startled eyes to Joann’s murderous face.
“Jo, you don’t understand……”
“No, Kate! I understand so well!” Kate cringed when Joann shouted.
“This is the proof that all the rumors were true after all!”
“No, its not……” Kate swallowed hard and shook her head to dissuade Joann’s accusation.
“C’mon, Kate. Don’t lie to me! Then what do you think is the meaning of this sweet love letters of yours…..!
I guess, I fell in love with you from the very first time that we met but I didn’t know it at that time. That is why, I was drawn to your warmth whenever you’re near and it became clearer to me what I felt for you when I found out that you’re falling in love with someone else.
I know this is all wrong but seeing you both is like a dagger that is continuously piercing my heart, but then, it was already too late for me to pursue what my heart is telling me and I don’t have the courage to tell you what I feel and ruin your happiness.
I love you so much to take you away from your beloved. I’ve tried really hard to carve out
my heart not to love you but I can’t. I opted instead to love you in silence and ask God’s mercy in my situation.
Joann crumpled the letter and threw it on the floor. Then, she glared at Kate who anxiously lowered her head.
“I’m so not believing that this is happening Kate. Now, it is much clearer to me why you’re so uncomfortable whenever Lloyd is around and you seem to dislike him. Its just a facade so that you can keep your little secret of wanting Lloyd for yourself!” Joann spat with so much venom that Kate lifted her head with tears forming around her eyes, threatening to spill out.
“That’s not true Jo. Please believe me. Gi-g-give me a chance to explain,” She pleadingly asked her with a whispered tremor on her voice.
“I’m sorry, Kate.” Joann braced her hands in front and step back. “I don’t think I could trust you again. I thought you’re my best friend but now…..I don’t know anymore….” And she walked past her to get out of the room.
Kate were cut off from her reverie when a crashing wind rattled the shuttered window in their room. She got up and mechanically packed all of her belongings, leaving behind all the fun-filled and painful memories of their friendship together. Moving like a robot devoid of any emotions, she slung her duffel bag on her shoulder and her two suitcases out of the door.
Rivulet of fresh tears streamed down her face when she turned her head to cast a woeful look at the boardinghouse. Then, she raised her head towards the fading golden orange fingers of the setting sun and started to walk away…..
I’m sorry, Jo, for deceiving you. I let everybody think that I love Lloyd because I don’t want you to find out….. that I love you…..