The Shroud

I am just sitting at a corner.
Too numb to move
even my little finger.
Staring into nothingness,
my time just wasting away.

Butterflies flutters inside.
My heart jostle along
with each erratic beat.
Not knowing whether
to be excited or in dread.

Couldn’t think, couldn’t focus
of what will happen next.
Everything is in darkness,
not dangerous just a plateau,
serene yet trying to break free.

I felt out of breath
at the same time holding it in.
Too weary to move but
too stubborn to give up.
Fighting to live again.

This is those moment
when plans get askew
and you lost your bearings,
just pondering, waiting,
trying to peep on the horizon.

Deciphering what lies ahead.
What does it takes to grasp
that elusive niche again?
Squeezing hard your heart 
for an answer to live, to stand.

Too much space to think
but too tiny to put some action.
That lazy bones kept pestering
until the disease is gnawing,
swallowing the self to move on.

Somehow in the middle
of those thought provoking, 
downward spiral swirling above,
a jolt of hope kick you on your butt,
telling you to fight within your gut.

You look up and you see differently.
Nah! I’m not as pitiful as I thought I’ll be.
The future is brighter even if I can’t see.
That shroud will be discarded even if 
it looks amorphous in what I am today.

image

Jesus love you ❤

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