Archive | August 2015

My Heart is Far Away

I felt the chasm marring my very soul
The stillness within I can’t fully control
It’s frightfully dead. So bland, no taste at all
Frozen, so afraid to finally make a fall

My First Love is there, from a distance
Will I capture it again if given a chance?
Will I ever break out from this trance
That tend my heart to recalcitrance

How long will my disappointment last?
How long will I live the hurt from my past?
I thought the promise is in the realm of I can’t
Heart skidded down, blaming You for the brunt

I didn’t recognize the massive void at first
I thought, I am alright, clinging to my mirth
All a sham, hiding my shattered heartbeat
I didn’t know I am hanging and desperate

I don’t want to be like this anymore
Help me severe that tied me to mourn
The events of the shadowed past that I scorn
Leaving me morose and so very much forlorn

Please let Your love penetrate me again
Encase my heart with the fullness that I yearn
Foreshadowing my insecurities and concern
Forgetting them….. forgiving me in the end

My heart be at peace, this too shall pass
Deadness will breathe again, you will grasp
The joyful reuniting of Love no one can surpass
Because His grace is sufficient and just, at last

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Jesus love you ❤

Faithful Sinner

the ragamuffin within me
emerges time and again,
i shot so much pain in Your heart
and probe much deeper still.
my sin clouded my sense of belonging
my heart is in taciturn again.
i cried out in desperation,
i cling to you with all my being
so afraid for you to let me go
please hold me more closer
i lay down my sins upon your throne
then your peace wrapped my heart
i am forgiven, cleanse from my past
thank you for your magnanimity
once more, thank you for
loving me…..

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Jesus love you ❤

The Anguish of my Soul

I couldn’t fathom the love that bears me,
My anguish is great but He carried me.

His comfort flooded my weary soul,
‘Cause I couldn’t hold on to it anymore.

I am drowning amid the ocean of tears,
My life is ebbing in the middle of my fears.

In silence, God answers my every need,
He showed me that He is so near indeed.

I am still in anguish, my heart cried in pain,
God’s silence, His answer still remain.

How long, oh Lord, will my heart cry out?
God’s silence, He will find a way out.

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Jesus love you ❤

You and Me

You’ve taught me how to listen
Despite how ticklish were your ears
It doesn’t stop you to share
It never stopped you to care…

We are different but one
We share just one common ground
Our heart beat for just one Man
To savor His love, we joyfully found…

They say we’re little and cute
I guess, they’re astutely right
It’s a subtle way to put
That what we lack for is height…

Despite that simple truth
God doesn’t stop the growth
Our spirit is soaring high
In His guidance, we abide…

Then, let’s savor each moment
Live a life for His commandment
Willing to pay the price in each event
To have Christ’s heart and be obedient…

Soon, we will face God above
To live and basked in His love
The tears we’ve shed is past and gone
‘Cause our joy is complete in God’s only Son…

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…..dedicated to Sister Josefina, a friend of mine who chose to serve the Lord full-time.
Jesus love you ❤

It’s Amazing…..

Father.. .

Your word is the light amid the shadow of the night.
You created its existence to pull me through my fright.

You encouraged my hopeful daydreaming,
You put a soul to a body that is dying.

You won’t let it go despite the doubt,
You don’t want me to give in without a fight.

You know me and my strength.
You knew i could carry on with my dream.

You want me to see its fulfillment.
You let me soar to have this moment.

You are so amazing indeed.
You are my Father, my greatest need.

You who knitted me from my mother’s womb.
You healed my past, live my now, my future formed.

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Jesus love you ❤

A Different Form

     It was already past midnight, the air is chilly, bathed by the full moon’s soft light, illuminating fragments of shadows lurking in every corner of the deserted street. It was strangely quiet broken by echoes of howling dogs from a distance and the eerie whisper of the wind, rustling the leaves of the trees. A lone figure was oblivious by her surroundings as she hurriedly walk on the sidewalk as if being chased by an unknown force. The breeze played with her long hair and on her face etched an impatient frown and her fingers twisted in a frantic gestures.

     Oh my! Why do I have to forget the time? Why do I have to live with my Aunt in this farfetched subdivision? I should’ve been enjoying the party rather than worrying my head off of an alibi to escape my Aunt’s wrath. She cried irritably and walked even faster, almost to a run and suddenly stopped.

     She shuddered as the wind embraced her jeans and shirt-clad figure and realized that she’s standing in front of a vast deserted lot where there stood the skeleton facade of a ruined building. It looked so scary especially the concrete ceiling in which it sagged at the middle as if trying its best to kiss the solid ground beneath. She frowned even more and irritably brushed the scary thought aside, then an idea struck her and before she could make a move, she heard someone called her name.

     ” Ashleigh….”

     It was a faint sound, carried by the breeze from afar. She listened for a while and shrugged her shoulder, thinking it was just her imagination and proceeded to take the short cut through the ruined building when she heard it again, louder this time and nearer.

      ” Ashleigh….”

     She suppressed a shiver and turned her head slowly. “Hello, Ashleigh……”

     Ashleigh blinked her eyes when a man emerged in front of her. She had a glimpsed of his face when it was illuminated by the moon. It is an interesting face, handsome but not too much. It is rather thin for her liking. A smile stretched his lips, showing off his dimples on both cheeks but something is missing somehow and she just can’t pinpoint it at the moment.  She scanned his face and found herself staring at his eyes and sensed rather than saw the sadness that crept out from his soul. Ah! So that’s what was missing, his smile never reached his eyes and found herself pitying him.

     “Who are you?” How did you know my name?” Ashleigh asked curiously.

     “I’m Leo. I know you because I lived not far from here, so, basically, we’re neighbors,” He answered lightly.

     “Oh?” She raised her left eyebrow and looked him up, noticing his gangly stature and found herself smiling back at him. He seemed harmless, she mused. “What are you doing here? Uh…..I mean…..How come you’re still outside and not at at home sleeping? It’s rather late, you know.”

     Leo looked past her as if in deep thought and shrugged his bony shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep……Anyway…..” He looked at her again, “….. our house is just around the corner so, I decided to take a stroll and lighten up my mood.”

     “You know what? You’re kind of weird. I mean, don’t get me wrong here, okay? It’s just that most people wouldn’t dare take a leisurely walk alone on this deserted street especially at past midnight as if it’s a beach front or something ….but….here you are.” She crossed her arms in front and shook her head in wonder, raising her left eyebrow unconsciously.

     Leo smiled mysteriously and suddenly grew sad. “I’m not most people, Ashleigh,” He looked past her again but this time, he stared at the ruined building at her back. Ashleigh felt again that sudden chill that made her shiver literally.

     “C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” she started to protest but Leo grasped her elbow and guided her along the road. It seems like an invisible force propelled her to go along with him and forget her first intention of getting a short cut through the deserted, ruined building. They’ve walked in silence, hearing only their somewhat synchronized breathing, giving him a surreptitious glance from time to time until they reached her Aunt’s house. She then turned to him but froze when Leo leaned his hands lightly on her shoulders. He stared at her seriously. “Don’t waste your life and wait time to run out on you…..just like what I did with mine,” Ashleigh just stared at him dumbfounded. Leo removed his hands and walked away.

     “Leo, wait!” Ashleigh called out to him but he was gone and she just stared into nothingness. She then shrugged her shoulder indifferently, fished out her key to open the wrought iron gate and slowly went inside.

     Weird, that guy is really weird. Oh well, he is out of my concern and shook her head just to clear her puzzlement. She then climbed the tall mango tree that grazed the tiny balcony beside her room on the second floor and prayed that her Aunt will not wake up since her room is on the first floor. Ashleigh got inside her room without disturbing anyone, breathed a sigh of relief and smiled triumphantly. Mission accomplished!

     “Ashleigh! Ashleigh!” She heard someone call her name and felt her shoulder shook.

     “Go away.” She mumbled and turned on her stomach, wanting to sleep some more.

     “C’mon, Leigh! Wake up! I’ve got news for you!” Her shoulder were being shook so hard, she was afraid it will be dislocated from its socket. Ashleigh opened her eyes and drowsily sat up on her bed. She tried to focused on her cousin and rubbed the cobwebs of sleep from her eyes. “What do you want? It’s still early!” She snapped disgruntedly and yawned.

     ” Ah, ah, ah, don’t you dare sleep on me again,” Her cousin Debra glared through her thick spectacle while shaking her right pointer finger at her in a no-no gesture and her left hand resting on her ample hips. “Something horrible happened last night! A guy was found dead and buried underneath the rubble of the ruined building at the deserted lot……” Debra rattled on, excitement coating her voice, not seeing the change on her cousin’s face.

     “Oh my God, it’s Leo!” Ashleigh cried in horror.

      “……Ron came home late last night, around midnight or so and decided to take the short cut through the deserted building. When he was halfway through, the ceiling just collapsed and he was buried alive inside and……”

      Ashleigh didn’t hear the rest of what Debra is saying when he realized it wasn’t Leo who were dead but suddenly grew pale and shivered when reality sunk in on her. She hugged herself tightly and thought dreadfully, if Leo didn’t dissuade me from my brilliant idea and didn’t literally dragged me along the long route, I could have been in Ron’s place……She felt sick to her stomach, pushing down the bile that is forming down her throat and suddenly sprang up, taking her cousin by surprise and cutting off her rambling.

     “Where do you think you’re going? I’m not through yet with my story!” Debra cried in frustration and stamped her feet for emphasis.

     “Sorry, Deb. I have a very important thing to do,” she smiled at her and proceeded to go to her bathroom but made a u-turn to asked her cousin, “Oh, by the way, do you know where Leo lived? I just want to talk to him.”

     “Leo!” Debra shouted incredulously, “are you out of your mind! You’ve met him! How? When? Don’t you know he used to be a drug addict! Uh, uh, I’m warning you Ashleigh, stay away from him. He’s bad news. He might–“

     “Will you please shut up!” Ashleigh snapped. “I don’t care. Just give me his address and I’ll explain to you later why I need to talk to him,” she asked calmly.

     “Okay, I’ll give it to you. The house is at the corner  with a red gate along our street, numbered 221-A. Don’t blame me if he will do something to you. I did warn you.” Debra said haughtily.

     Ashleigh ignored her and entered her bathroom to freshen up and went out.
    
     She met Leo on the way to his house, looking disheveled and lonely, his thinness and hollowed cheeks were more pronounced in daylight.

     “Leo!” she ran to him and hugged him briefly. “Thank you for saving me.”

     He stared at her in surprise. “Saving you?”

     “Yes, last night. Do you remember it? When I came home late?” She inquired.

     “Oh, that. It’s nothing.” He shrugged it aside nonchalantly and started to go on his way.

     “Leo, wait!”

     He turned and looked at her blankly.

     “Thank you for being my new friend.” She smiled at him.

     Leo smiled back, showing not only his dimples but a twinkle in his eyes, making it alive with happiness. “Yah,” he replied and walked away whistling.

     Nice but weird, really weird.

Fin

……angels can be in different forms.

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Jesus love you ❤