My Admiration

In my eyes, your attractiveness is something I can’t deny. Whenever you cross my path, I felt the tingles through my spine. It gives off a giggle or two from my lips and a sigh when you walk by.

Somehow, I miss you when I don’t see you more often but I could live if I don’t see you at all. Your just an exciting part of me that enliven my sometimes mundane life and made me forget I am getting in years, reminding me of that youthful rush of excitement during my teens when my naivete is full of stories about fairytales and they-live-happily-ever-after.

That attraction between us is tangible. I felt it when our stares held on for a few seconds and we deliberately let go, pretending that we didn’t notice each other at all but we knew the awareness that our being cannot lie.

We’ve been dancing in our present state for years now but we just can’t dance in synch because of so many chasm between us. Me in my own righteous world and you in your so-called path of addictions and vicious cycle of uncertainties. We are two people who opted to never cross that line for the benefit of being safe, for fear that if we do, we might find out that crossing is wrong and we could never go back to the other side of our built-in fences.

In a way, I am not asking for more of what we have now. I am contented to gush like a school girl when you’re around, not knowing what lies ahead between us.

I am not closing any door, the Master Planner is still on the throne and you’re in my prayers. My admiration for you is still on and I want us to remain this way. The subtlety, the what-ifs hanging in our heads and that certain knowing that we are aware is enough for me.

For now…. For tomorrow…..let’s just wait and see…..:)

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Jesus love you ❤

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